Christmas Long Ago

I think there's a song by the name "Christmas Long Ago".  At this time of year, I always think of Christmases in the past.  There was no tree with sparkling lights.  We didn't even have electricity until I was in high-school.  I can remember going across the fields with my brother looking for a nice size cedar tree to cut and take home.  Us children decorated it with strings of popcorn, crepe paper rope and silver tinsel icles.  Daddy always brought home Christmas candy and a coconut.  At school we exchanged names and we got a bag of treats thatt was always an orange, an apple and Christmas candy.  We had a Christmas program at school that we practiced on for sometime before Christmas.  There was always a play where someone played Mary and Joseph and a doll was baby Jesus.  We could do that back then.  That was the meaning of Christmas and should be today.   There was no Black Friday and all the hustle and bustle of shopping then like it is today.  But Christmas carols filled the air and peace on earth, good will toward men and the birth of the Christ Child was the main theme of Christmas long ago.

A Sad Time

This year has been a sad year.  I've lost so many friends and family.  Is this something you should expect when you grow older?  I 've lost a brother and a brother-in-law, who was as close as a brother.  An old friend that I had worked with at the bank for a lot of years.  Although she had moved to Arizona, we had always kept in touch.  I was shocked to hear that Bill's cousin, who he had played in a band with for a lot of years, had died of a massive stroke.  A short time before that an old friend that he had played with years ago in our Quadcity years had passed away.  The last six months of two thousand and eleven will stay in my memory as a sad time.

Seasons

Spring is yellow daffodils and soft breezes
The earth turning from brown to green
Summer is a play ground filled with laughing children
Swimming pools and dusty roads
Fall is brown leaves falling
Quiet nights beneath a full moon
Winter is snow crunching underfoot
Frosty window panes and icy winds
Our life goes by like the seasons
Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter
Passing as swiftly as the seasons come and go

Alzheimers

I opened my refrigerator this morning  and there sit some things that should have been in the freezer.  I had fixed some of it for my evening meal before I went to church and for some crazy reason put the rest of it in the refrigerator instead of the freezer.  I was in a hurry because I was running late but is that just an excuse.  Some time ago I found my oleo in the pantry instead of the refrigerator.  Alzheimers is a real fear of old people because it seems to be something that no matter how fast you run, it catches you.  I'm trying to stay active and trying to keep my brain active.  I work crossword puzzles. do sudokus, play bingo on Wednesdays ,work at the library one day a week, and try to stay active in church activities.  I rememer my Mom and Dad just wanting to stay at home when they were older and some days I feel that way.  I think maybe when you're old , you just don't pay enough attention to what you're doing .  So that's how I'm going to look at this.  Old woman pay more attention to where you're putting things.  That's probably what the old man would tell me if he was here.

The Wind

When I woke up this morning I could hear the wind.  Sometimes the wind whispers softly but this morning it was shouting.  I thought it's saying winters coming.  Even though I was under the covers it made me feel cold.  I thought maybe it's blowing all the leaves out of my yard and off of this hill.  I was trying to look on the bright side.  I remember a poem from grade school about the wind.  "Who can see the wind, neither you nor I but when the trees bow down their heads the wind is passing by."  This morning the wind didn't seem to be passing by, it was just staying and whistling around the house like a banshee.  I got up and looked out my window and my yard was still full of leaves.  Oh well, that's the way life goes.

Coins

There's been a quarter laying in the floorboard of my car for sometime.  I finally picked it up this morning for I was picking up another lady to go to lunch and  I was cleaning out my car.   It made me think of how few coins were around when I was a kid.  I hadn't bothered picking that quarter up but back then if we found a penny or nickel anywhere, it didn't lay there long.  Back then you could buy candy for a penny and a candy bar for a nickel.  If we had found a quarter we would have been rich.  I hadn't even bothered picking up the quarter because after all what would it buy?  Not a candy bar, that's for sure and is there such a thing any more as penny candy?  I haven't seen any.  Thinking of candy makes me think of when Bill worked at Sears.  They had bulk candy and they would dip you out whatever amount you could pay for and put it in a white paper bag and it was sooo good.  I may have to make a trip to the store, I saw some chocolate covered peanuts there this morning.  They were in bulk too.  That quarter won't buy any but I might be able to find a few more coins.

When I Am Old I Will Wear Purple

At the library yesterday I read "When I Am An Old Woman".  I thought I need to rewrite this.  It doesn't fit me at all.  I've never liked the color purple.  I shall wear any color I like and I difinitly don't want to drink brandy.  It would give me nausea.  I wouldn't want to ruin my slippers in the rain, not unless they were a pair I didn't like.  I also would not want to pick flowers from someone elses garden but I might take some seeds that I could plant in mine.  Just thinking of eating three pounds of sausage at a go makes my stomach want to empty and if I ate bread and pickles for a week, I'd want some ham to eat with them.  Sitting a good example for your children doesn't end with them, what about the grandchildren?  Well suddenly I am old but none of the things that seem to appeal to the lady who wrote this appeals to me.  I think I'll just keep writing on my blog and playing computer games and try to forget I'm an old lady.

Life Span

Today I met an old friend of Bills and we stood and talked for a while.  He talked about being at Bill's house when they were teenagers.  Our conversation sorta went on about life and how when we're young, our future seems long.  We feel like we're going to live forever.  At our age now we look back and think where did all the years go.  That passage in the bible that says "life is like a vapor" is so true.  I heard last week that an old friend of ours had passed away.  He and Bill used to play in a band together and his wife and I were good friends.  I thought about a picture I took a long time ago of him and Bill sitting at our kitchen table, eating
watermelon.  He's sticking out his tongue at me and Bill's just busy eating watermelon.  I don't remember why he was sticking out his tongue at me but I can remember a lot of good times we four had together.  There's an old song that says memory is a gift of God that death cannot destroy.  In old age it's a precious gift.

Memories

I've lost two family members recently and it's make me think of all the good memories I have of them and
death can not take those away.  My memories of my brother of course go back as far as my memory goes back.  Going places with Daddy when we were kids, school memories and teenage memories.  Since we
were close in age we had the same friends.  My memories of my brother-in-law are memories of  Bill and I going with him and Betty on camping trips and meeting on Friday nights to go out for dinner at Hoot's and going to auctions on Saturday.  Those were all fun days and left me with lots of good memories.  When I leave, will I leave people with good memories?  I hope so.

An Old Woman

How did I get to be an old woman.  My husband started calling me that soon after I met him and I just thought it was funny but then I was seventeen.  Now I don't like thinking of myself as an old woman.  Do I still want to be that dumb teenager I used to be.  No I don't think so.  I don't want to be a feeble old woman either and I'll never think of myself that way.  I don't know what old age will bring but I'm busy holding it at bay. 

Temptation

This subject is probably one I should just stay out of but I'm been thinking a lot of why people fall into temptation.  Does the devil know what your weakness is and that's what he tempts you about?  If you're a poor person, does he tempt you to steal?  If you're in a unhappy marriage, does he tempt you to commit adultery.  You always have a choice.  God's not standing over you with a whip but he gave you the Holy
Spirit and you need to listen.  I heard a sermon one time on temptation.  The preacher gave the degrees of
temptation and said at the very first thought of temptation is when you should flee.  If you get into mire the deeper you get in the harder it is to get out.  I guess that's how temptation is and I think the devil does know
your weakness.  When I should be reading the bible, I'm reading a novel or I'm on the computer  and I
probably should get off of here and be doing something more productive.

Marriage

I'm invited to a wedding tomorrow and it's had me thinking about marriage.  Everything about marriage seems to have changed since I was a teenager.  In the fortys most teenage girls were thinking about marriage.  Now marriage doesn't seem to be high on their priority list.  Maybe that's not a bad thing.  You shouldn't enter into marriage lightly and the preacher tells you that in the ceremony.   But what is young people's attutude toward
marriage today?  In the old wedding ceremony the preacher said "till death do you part".  Is that part of the ceremony today?  I'll have to listen tomorrow and see.  Maybe it was in the 50's or 60's that people decided if you were n't happy in your marriage then you needed to get out.  Nobody's happy all the time and noboy's marriage is perfect.  They say that 50 per cent of marriages fail today.  When I was growing up I didn't know
anyone who was divorced.  None of the kids I went to school with lived in broken homes.  Is it the times we live in or a different attutude towards marriage and divorce?   I'm definitely not an autority on marriage but I think children would be better off today if their parents felt like marriage was a lifetime commitment that they needed to work at.  Well maybe this marriage tomorrow will be one that will last.

The Coming Winter

I've always thought September was the best month of the year.  I didn't expect 63 degree weather in the middle of the day in September no less.   I guess we're getting a foretaste of the coming winter and I'm not looking forward to winter.  Somehow when you get older  the days seem colder and snow is not something beautiful, it's just something you don't want to get out and shovel.   Am I getting to be a grumpy old woman?
Probably.  Maybe I just need an attitude ajustment.

My Church Family

Sitting in church Sunday morning I thought about the first Sunday we were at this church.  We had just moved to Southern Illinois.  I looked around and thought I do not see Bill & Carol, Elden & Helen, John & Sue and all the close  friends in our church in Andulusia.  I thought this is never going to be home.  When I looked around Sunday I saw the friends that have become dear to me in the last 35 years and thought I really don't want to move out of Dongola.  So many of them have just extended their sympathy at the death of my brother.  These people have over-looked my goofs, standing up one morning on the first verse of a song when the song leader had said the last verse and when I didn't have sense enough to sit back down, like Bill told me to, the congregation stood up with me.  They've supported me through my bout with cancer and Bill's illness and death.  I don't have another 35 years to feel this way about another church.  Maybe I'll just never move out of Dongola.  It would be a hard thing to do.

Poetry

When I was a sophomore in high school, we had to memorize a poem and recite it before the class.  Of course I chose one by Longfellow, my favorite poet.  It was entitled "The Builders".  A classmate recited "I Have A Rendezrous With Death" by Alan Seeger.  At the time I thought, why would
you chose that one.  Since that time I've read that poem many times and I can hear the beauty in it.  We all have a rendezrous with death and none shall fail that rendezrous.

My Brother

I went to the hospital today to see my brother.  He's only one year and four months older than myself.  When he started school, I thought I had to go too.
At home Daddy had a nickname for each one of us and Paul's was Rinky-Dink.
When we were in first or second grade, we had a weiner roast at school and
I couldn't get my weiner on my stick.  So of course I went to Paul, who was
with a group of boys and said, "Rinky-Dink put my weiner on my stick for me."
From that time on his name was Rinky-Dink and when he was older the boys
added Donkey and for some reason they called him Rinky-Dink Donkey.  Of
course they called him that in fun for he was well-liked at school.  Seven boys
in our class and three of them have passed on.  I wonder if those who are left
ever think of him as Rinky-Dink.

Curves

I went with a friend to curves today.  She's several years older than me.  I tried
out most of the machines just a few times.  She was still going at it when I
stumbled out to my car, wondering if I was going to make it through Krogers
long enough to buy my groceries.  Does this mean I'm not in good shape?  I
thought I was doing good for 78.  I guess I'm going to have to do more walking than reading.  Does this mean I need to head for the park every morning or should I just stay at home and morn my condition? 

Summer's End

The sun's coming up later and going down earlier.  There's a chill in the early
morning air.  The kids started back to school last week.  It'll soon be the be
the end of summer and the beginning of fall.  Fall has always been my favorite
time of year.  Yet there's a sadness at summer's end because another year is
almost gone.  Did I ever feel that way when I was young?  I don't think so.

Time

Ah, Time you are so cruel
You took the sparkle from my eye
You've turned my hair from gold to gray
You've turned my breath from glee to sigh.

You've written lines upon my face
And put a tremble in my hand
There is no spring now in my step
Ah, Time you are a cruel pen.

Sunday Morning Song Service

The songs we sang at church Sunday morning bought back a lot of memories.
The first song was "There's Something About That Name".  I remembered Deb singing it at Andulusia church.  Her Dad loved to hear her sang it.  The second
song was "In The Garden".  I thought of the time that Bill and the girls sang it
at church and Bill choked up when he said he could remember hearing his
Mothher sang it when he was a boy.  The third song was "How Great Thou Art".  That was one of Bill's favorite songs.  I remember a young girl singing
it in church one Sunday morning without music and Bill telling her how
beautiful he thought it was.  There's a song entitled " Memories Linger On" and
that's so very true.

Anger

The bible says "Do not let the sun go dwon upon your anger".  It would be better not to get angry at all.  Anger does not accomplish anything.  It does not hurt the one you are angry at.  If it harms anyone, it's the person who is angry.
I got angry at my dentist's office lady because I had waited five months to get a filling replaced.  Losing my temper lost me a dentist that I gone to for thirty years and I really liked him and he was reasonable on his charges.  She won't make me an appointment and I have not found another dentist that I am satisfied with.  My complain did not hurt her at all but it hurt me so even when you think you have every right to be angry at someone, it's better to just let it go.

A Special Lady

I went to a funeral today of a lady I had known all my life.  When I hugged her daughter, she said "we go way back".  I think she might have been thinking of the time I stayed with her when her second daughter was born but I thought how our families go way bak.  Her Dad and my Dad grew up on neighboring farms.  Her Grandparents had lived in the same place and so had mine.  So our families really do go way back.

She was in my older brother's class in grade school and was a good friend of my older sister.  One of her brothers was in the same grade as my brother and myself and he dated my best friend.  Her youngest brother was in the same grade as my youngest sister.  When you went to a small country school in the fortys, you went to school with friends.

Her mother was a special lady.  She a 103 years old.  I know where she is today and I'm sure she's celebrating with her old friends including my mother and dad.

Families

It's curious how families change as society changes.  At one time large families were the norm.  On a farm a large family was an asset.  There was much work to be done and from the youngest to the oldest you had a chore.  My Dad was what was called then "a truck farmer".  Maybe because you needed a truck to sell your produce.  Work started on the first warm day of spring and ended when everthing had been harvested in the fall.

The planting time meant fields of tomatoes, sweet potatoes, peanuts, watermelons and cantaloupes.  The first harvest was in May when the strawberries were ripe.  They were picked, packed and shipped, going by train to some city.  There were daily chores, feeding chickens, gathering eggs, feeding pigs, milking cows and separating the milk.

There was also fun things to do.  Building a playhouse and making mud pies.  We were good at making up our own games.  We did things children today has never heard of doing.  We played much in the creek that ran through the farm and had no water in it except when there was a heavy rain.

Growing up in a large family was a blessing I like to remember.  Being the middle child there was always someone older to help me with my lessons, to come to my rescue if I was picked on at school.  We never knew what the word bored meant and when I hear kids say that today I kinda feel sorry for them.

Brevity of Life

The bible tells us how short our life span is and yet when we are young the years before us seem long.  I remember as a teenager how quickly I wanted to grow up.  The bible is comparing life here to eternity yet when you look back and wonder where did all the years go.  When we are young if we could grasp on to the fact that life here is short maybe we'd spend our years more wisely.

Patience

I looked up patience in the dictionary.  It said the ability to wait and endure without complaint.  If I have ever had that ability I must have lost it some where in these 78 years.  My main drain is stopped up and I can't seem to get a plumber interested in cleaning it for me and it keeps running over in my base-ment.  I have not waited and endured without complaint. There's no laudermat in Dongola or Anna.   Also I have not been able to get any TV channels except
the local ones.  Dish Network did not handle the problem to my liking so I canceled.  Now do I need patience? 

Witnesses

Our sermon this morning was on the verse about the cloud of witnesses.  Pastor Paul said

this is the saved people who have died.  My mother always said they can’t see what goes

on here because they wouldn’t be happy if they could see what their loved ones are doing

here.  So was she wrong?  Is my mom and dad disappointed in me?  Is Bill still shaking

his head at some of things I do as he did many times here?  Well I don’t know if mom &

dad and Bill can see the days I don’t read my bible, nights I don’t go to church but  I do

know that God sees it and He’s the one who really counts.  Maybe God’s trying to tell me

“you’re not doing a good job with your life and it’s time you got it straightened out.

The Price Of A Candy Bar

I was checking our today at the grocery store and noticed the price of a candy bar was

95 cents.  When I was growing up in the 1930s and 40s and even somewhat later, the

price of a candy bar was 5 cents.  Not that I ever had 5 cents to buy one but today I would not pay 95 cents for one.  Just thinking of a 5 cent candy bar took me back to another time.  Maybe that time was not as great as it seems in my memory but I wouldn’t want

to trade growing up at that time for any other time in history.

The Golden Years

I wonder who coined that name.  Are your last years supposed to be bright and shining,

like gold?  Most of the older people I know are sad and lonely.  They’ve lost their mate.

When you lose your mate, you also lose your circle of friends.  Oh they’re still there and I’m sure they still care about you but you no longer have anything in common.  Your friends were couples as you were a couple and no longer are.

There are many things that affect your life in the later years.  Sometimes you lose your health or sometimes your mate loses their health and this affects not only them but you.

So things other than death may be the reason your life has changed.  Dementia is a large problem today in your later years.  So even if you’re still healthy physically your

mind may  no  longer be healthy.

Does God want you to spend your last years sad and lonely?  I don’t think so.  So is there an answer?  I don’t have it but I’m sure it’s there, somewhere in God’s word.

Saturday Morning Thunder Storm

My rain scarf was in the car and it was going to be raining by the time I left for work.  I started to go outside and before I opened the door I saw a small brown bird sitting on the

bottom step.  He seemed to be listening to the thunder and I wondered what he was thinking.  He just kept sitting there and I didn’t open the door.  I didn’t want to disturb him.  After a while he flew away and I think he thought it’s time I found a shelter from

the storm that’s on it’s way.  Sometimes I think that’s what I should do.  Just fly away

from the storm that’s coming and someday that’s what I’m gonna do.

The House I Grew Up In

I remember, I remember the house where I was born-

This is the beginning of a poem I read in grade school.

I do remember the house where I was born.  It was a

house my Dad and Uncle Dick had build and it was a

house where Bill and I lived when we were first married

But it’s not the house of my childhood years.  Dad and

Mother bought that place when I was a baby and I lived

there until I married at seventeen and that house holds

all my childhood memories even though it’s no longer

there, blown away in a tornado a few years ago, it will

always be home in my memory.

Forty

I remember my fortieth birthday.  A milestone in a woman’s life.  It must have been a     Saturday because I wasn’t working.  I came out of the house to go shopping

and a neighbor whistled at me.  I thought “ well, maybe I’m not over the hill yet.”

The neighbor will never know how that whistle made me smile.

Families

It’s curious how families change as society changes.  At one time large families were the norm.  On a farm a large family was an asset.  There was much work to be done and from the youngest to the oldest you had a chore.  My Dad was what was called then “a truck farmer”.  Maybe because then you needed a truck to sell your produce.  Work started on the first warm day of spring and ended when everything had been harvested in the fall.

The planting time meant fields of tomatoes, sweet potatoes, peanuts, watermelons and cantaloupes.  The first harvest was in May when the strawberries were ripe.  They were picked, packed and shipped, going by train to some city.  There were daily chores, feeding chickens, gathering eggs, feeding pigs and milking cows. 

There was also fun things to do.  Building a playhouse and making mud pies.  We were good at making up our own games.  We did things children today has never heard of doing.  We played much in the creek that ran through the farm and had no water except when there was a heavy rain.

Growing up in a large family was a blessing I like to remember.  Being the middle child

there was always someone older to help me with my lessons, to come to my rescue  if I was being picked on at school.  We never knew what the word bored meant and when I

hear kids say that today I kinda feel sorry for them.

Days Of Stone

Some days are diamonds, some days are stones.  A line from an old John Denver song.

eight hours at the library.  Four hours too long for an old lady.  Why do people come

 in the last hour and want to stay on the computer for four hours and don’t know

what they’re doing and make a lot of copies they don’t want and don’t want to pay

twenty cents a sheet for them.  Why do they talk mean to their kids when the kids are

not behaving any worse than they are?  Some days I should just be home quietly read-

ing a good book.

A Best Friend

When I think of friends, I always think of Joyce.  She was only twenty days older

than me.  Our junior and senior years in high school was two of the happiest years

of my life and she was a big part of those years.  We spent so much time together,

when she died I met a another classmate and her sister as I was going in the funeral home and she said we thought how close you two were in school and wondered if you would

be here.

 Old friends are the best but some times they leave us here to miss them.

A Widow's Thoughts

Where did all the years go.  As the bible says, like a vapor, they passed so quickly.  Fifty-six years, some good, some not so good.  There was good in even the worse of them.

I think of us, nineteen and seventeen, so young, so dumb.  If we had known what the years would bring, would we have been brave enough to start that journey?

1950 was a different age from today.  Most marriages didn’t start in church but most marriages lasted until death parted the partners.  It was expected to be a lifetime venture.  Ours began in the basement of the preacher’s home.  When the preacher ask what type of wedding we wanted, Bill replied “the shortest and the cheapest”.  I was not happy with that answer.  Apparently he thought the ceremony was not that important, maybe the marriage would be.

Bill worked construction and two weeks after the wedding, he was laid off.  A few weeks later, his mother suffered a stroke.  I was destined to be the caregiver.  Bill took a job on a truck and was gone most of the week.  Not the greatest way to start a marriage, yet

Looking back on that winter, we learned much about each other.  At that time I’m sure

Fifty-six years would have seemed long but looking back on them, they were not long enough. 

A Tribute to Daddy

I can still see him coming in from the fields

Bent with age and hard work

He told us tales of long ago while we sat around

the fire on a winter evening

I remember walking with him to Sunday School on

Sunday mornings

Sitting in his favorite chair reading his bible at night

Hearing him singing as he worked in the yard

I’m thankful for all the things he taught me not only

with words but by how he lived

Thank you Daddy for all the things you gave me

without my even realizing it.